11 Traits of a Great Parent

It’s not easy to be a great parent. Some of you didn’t have the best examples to follow, and it’s not a skill taught in school. You either have to educate yourself or learn on the job.

While there are many parenting styles, successful parents share attributes that give their children the best chance for success and happiness.

Most parents have a few of these attributes but must develop the others.

Great parents share many attributes:

  1. Patience. You knew this would be at the top of the list. Children are messy, noisy, don’t listen well, and exasperating. They can be pretty wonderful, too. But patience is essential. Learning to take a deep breath and relax can help more than just your parenting skills.
  2. Multi-tasking skills. Dealing with the house, work, and children require a great ability to multitask. Children constantly pull your attention away from whatever you’re doing. It’s not easy to regain your focus.
  3. Encouraging. Children quickly learn to doubt themselves and worry about the opinions of others. One of the best ways to combat this is to encourage your kids. With enough encouragement, a child can become their best self.
  4. Supportive. Encouragement and support go hand-in-hand. Children with support grow up to be relaxed and comfortable. Without support, the world can be a scary place. Teach your child there’s little to fear.
  5. Intelligence. One of the hallmarks of intelligence is problem-solving. Children provide a unique set of challenges that have to be solved. A little brain power can help you to navigate the minefield that parenting can entail.
  6. Flexibility. Many of your parenting attempts will fail. You must be flexible enough to have multiple solutions up your sleeve. When one doesn’t work, you can always try something else. Plans are always changing, too. It helps if you can go with the flow.
  7. Good leadership skills. You might be able to boss your kids around, but they’ll resent it, and they never forget. It’s more effective to have good leadership skills and only throw your parental weight around when necessary.

  8. Dependability. Kids feel safe when they have reliable and dependable parents. They have to know that you’re there for them. How much can your kids trust your word? How reliable do your friends consider you to be?

  9. Compassion. Children need to develop and experience compassion. Kids need understanding and comforting. Can you provide those two things?

  10. Sense of humor. Your children will give you plenty of opportunities to laugh. It would be a shame to allow those moments to go to waste. You’ll keep your sanity if you have a great sense of humor.
  11. Self-awareness. Children aren’t sure how to act. It’s up to you to be a role model. You’ll find that kids react to situations in ways that mimic your reactions. They don’t know any other way. It’s important to be self-aware enough to know whether you’re being a good role model.

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Model Appropriate Behavior for Your Children

When it comes to children, you are their role model. Parents are their first teachers. It is important to let them know how to deal with various situations as they age. Appropriate responses lead to positive outcomes. Never is this more important than dealing with defiant children. Model appropriate behavior. It will make things easier on you and on your children.

What Makes Defiant Children Different

Defiant children may suffer from a condition called ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder. This is more complex than just being stubborn. These children are disagreeable in the extreme and the behaviors occur almost daily. Parents often feel responsible or guilty for their children’s behavior anyway, so this just makes the situation that much more intense. The children may break the rules, talk disrespectfully, and repeat annoying behaviors on a regular basis. Traditional types of discipline only fuel the children’s anger and irritability. Parents often find themselves on a perpetual search for new ways of handling the situation.

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11 Easy Relaxation Practices to Share With Your Children and Teens

If you have relaxation practices that work for you, you might wonder how you can encourage your children to join you. Even if you haven’t been the best role model. After all, their lives can be stressful too when they’re trying to get good grades, make friends, and adapt to the changes that are part of growing up.

Sure, it would be tough to train a toddler to meditate for a half hour when they can barely sit still long enough to eat. However, there are age-appropriate activities suitable for any stage of development, from preschoolers to teens.

Find out more about how to help your children develop greater mindfulness and relieve stress.

Sharing Relaxation Practices with Younger Children

Even small children can relax and focus if you use movement and sound to make it interesting. It also helps if you provide an inspiring role model by managing stress constructively yourself.

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Accelerate Your Learning With These 9 Tips

Life is long enough that you can learn to do some amazing things. You might have to learn a new skill for work or some information for a test. Maybe you just want to learn a new language, to play an instrument, or how to cook a new dish. Learning is the fundamental for a fabulous life!

You won’t experience much that’s new if you don’t learn something new. Since time is often at a premium, learning quickly is important.

Try these ideas to speed up your learning process:

1. Learn over time. It’s much more effective to learn something for one hour each day for a week than to attempt to cram it all into your head over seven hours in one day. Consider breaking up your learning even further and give the subject your attention multiple times each day.

● One study showed that it was significantly more effective for beginners to practice piano five times each day for five minutes than it was to practice once for 25 minutes.

2. Create the right environment. You’ll accomplish more if you learn in an environment free of distractions. Imagine trying to learn how to swing a golf club next to a construction site on a sweltering day. How well could you learn Japanese with someone talking on the phone beside you?

● It’s not always possible to control your environment 100% but do the best you can. Remove as many distractions and be as comfortable as possible.

3. Get a good coach. Coaches know what matters. You might think you know the most important aspect of learning a particular task, but you might be wrong. Coaches can also spot mistakes and correct them instantly. Coaches are also good at holding you accountable. Why not get an expert on your side?

4. Get some exercise first. Just 15 minutes of exercise can improve your memory and ability to process new information. Hop on a treadmill or do some calisthenics for 15 minutes or more before tackling a new learning project.

5. Get some sleep. Inadequate sleep has been demonstrated to result in decreased reaction times, memory, learning ability, and even your use of proper grammar. Ensure you’re getting enough sleep.

6. Avoid studying the things you already know. Imagine that you’re reviewing facts or vocabulary words on flashcards. Avoid reviewing information you know by heart. If you’re learning a new piece of piano music, avoid practicing the parts you can already play. It’s a very inefficient way to learn.

7. Use a variety of media and senses to learn the information. Reading information can be effective, but it’s even more effective if you read it to yourself, recite it aloud, listen to a podcast, and watch a video on the topic. On top that, writing information down can be the best way to learn and remember.

8. Set a deadline. It’s common knowledge that tasks will expand to fill the time available. By setting a deadline, you can force yourself to work more consistently on learning the topic or skill. Without a deadline, it’s much easier to wait until “tomorrow” to get serious.

9. Be optimistic. In turns out that pessimists are more accurate at determining their current level of skill, but optimists ultimately learn things at a higher level. Have confidence and high expectations for yourself. You’ll ultimately learn more.

Learning is a huge component of life. Some learning is mandatory, especially in school or work environments. But, most learning is optional. You can learn about anything you want. One thing is for certain: the faster you can learn, the more you’ll be able to learn.

Like I always say “Knowledge is power!” Make a plan to learn something new today.

Question: What new skill or subject are you learning about now?

What is a Cultivator and How do I know if I am One?

Recently you may have heard about my podcast The Called to Cultivate™ Podcast with Regina Coley or heard my invitation to join the Called to Cultivate™ Community and thought to yourself what is a Cultivator™? A Cultivator is a person who educates, empowers, and enriches the lives of others. A Cultivator can teach, speak, or write but it’s through this that s/he challenges others to dig deeper so they can grow.

I wanted to coin a term that accurately explained my heart’s work and the hard work of so many others. So the Cultivator was created!

Who Do Cultivators Cultivate?

Anyone you feel called to serve! It can be your own children, your co-worker, or you can organize and lead a group. Cultivators have a heart for service and helping others to reach and achieve their goals through teaching, writing, and speaking. As it relates to me I cultivate parents and educators on this blog but I serve young women and girls in the community. I find opportunities to teach in everything I do.

Teach

A great Cultivator loves to educate people. You can do this through speaking or writing. You can engage, inspire and motivate your students to learn. I truly believe everyone has something to teach but there are select few that are gifted to teach. In our community, we discuss both types of teaching and support you on the path to discovery for both styles.

Inspire

A great Cultivator loves to inspire people. You wake up every day with a desire in your heart for people! You want to encourage people to strive for their very best. You want to serve as a role model for younger people and an aspiration for your peers.

Create Change

A great Cultivator works to create change. I mean your ultimate goal is to make a difference. You don’t feel at peace knowing that there is something that can be done when you see a need. You are typically the initiator and are full of vision.

Am I Describing You?

If while you read this your felt a leap in your belly you may be a Cultivator! If you are wanting to step into this work then you’re definitely in the right space.  You can hear more about the Cultivator movement in these places:

Called to Cultivate™ Podcast

Called to Cultivate™ Community

Schedule a Clarity Call with me

Sign up for my list to get access to more resources

My Top 10 Podcasts in April 2018

I love listening to podcasts! My iPhone is constantly blinking “storage full” because I have so many media files on my phone. My interests are in becoming a better entrepreneur, steward over purpose and money and mom/wife. I figured I’d share with you what I’m currently listening to in the hopes that you’d find them helpful too.

1. Lead to Win with Michael Hyatt
2. SistaSense Success Podcast
3. Suze Orman’s Women and Money
4. At Home with Sally-Sally Clarkson
5. Making A Business
6. Stuff You Should Know
7. Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations
8. TED Talks Daily
9. REAL TALK with Rachel Luna
10. Redefining Wealth with Patrice Cunningham

Be sure to subscribe and share these amazing resources.

Check out my podcast as well The Called to Cultivate Podcast with Regina E. Coley where I help you cultivate your best business and best life. What about you? Comment with your favorite podcasts below so I can add more to my list.

The Chosen Few

“Many are called but few are chosen.” Matthew 22:14

I believe that there are a select few individuals who have been born into this world to do great things. There are so many individuals who know exactly what needs to be done to successful. They attend workshops, classes, and hear from powerful speakers but only a select few will actually do the work that needs to be done to truly experience success.

Become a woman of action and you will become a woman of success. The chosen ones are the ones who choose to accept the work and responsibility. The chosen ones are the ones who accept the isolation. The chosen ones are the ones who accept the process. Everything that is done comes with a conscious decision to make it happen. I can decide to eat pancakes or eat cereal for breakfast but the decision truly rests in my desire or hunger for that particular food. What you are hungry for determines what you eat. You are what you eat! What do you have an appetite for? What do you crave? Trust me if you want it bad enough you will through hell and high water to get it! That is the mentality of the chosen few. They do what needs to be done.

Your will never be satisfied until you satisfy your hunger. It’s time to sit down and feast! It is your season. You have been predestined to sit at a table and enjoy your harvest! Your name tag is already there and your chair is pulled out for you. All you have to do is show up! Are you going to be the woman who shows up or will you allow all of your excuses to keep you from receiving what has been prepared for you? You were created for this very reason and very purpose and you have been equipped with everything you need to succeed. You have received an invitation and you’re experiencing the stomach pains because you hunger for it daily. Let’s eat! Step up to your position as one of the chosen few. Don’t let those menial things hold you back anymore! Your harvest is waiting for you and your portion of your inheritance has it’s name on it. Go get it!

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will.” Ephesians 1:11

What if Money Was No Object?

I hope you enjoyed that video. When I saw it for the first time I sat and thought about if I was truly doing the work I desired. I mean we all say there are certain things we’d do if money was no object, but seriously what would you do? Is it the work you’re currently doing or do you dream of spending your days doing something else? Do you find yourself at your job writing down tasks to complete later? Are you side focusing  on your Book? Your Art? Your Music? That non-profit? Standing on stages sharing your message? Sitting on the couch chatting with Oprah?

Learning to disassociate your self worth from your net worth is the most essential thing you can do for yourself before taking this grand leap of faith.

What you are paid for has no baring on what you are worth as an individual. It doesn’t determine how great you will become or how lazy you will be. It doesn’t decide if you are working in the right field but it certainly controls your life. Money allows even the strongest of individuals to be controlled into saying “This isn’t something I’d continue to do if you chopped my salary in half.” So why are you doing it now? Money is NOT everything! Your sanity and peace of mind is everything. The legacy you pass on to your children, family members, friends, and community   is everything.

We need more people who are willing to be more bold and truly live the lives that desire rather than succumb to the pressures of fitting into a mold. It’s better to have a short life doing what you enjoy doing, than a long life of misery! You can master your passions and the profits will follow. Do not allow yourself to suffer through trying to do what you think is the “American Dream” because the dream has an entirely new definition!

To find the right solutions you must begin to ask the right questions so my question for you today is: What do you desire?

Start where you are and begin to work on that dream daily. You deserve a life of satisfaction. Begin to design your today!

Tap Into Your Influence

As a new leader, visionary or entrepreneur, your sphere of influence is your power circle. Influence is the effect you have on a group of people. If you don’t have a group of people you’re influencing then you aren’t leading. The goal of all leaders should be to increase their circle of influence and cater to the interests and needs of the people in it.

All leaders have a team of people who are dependent on their vision and leadership to guide them. This is your sphere of influence. Your energy should  be dedicated to the vision, mission, and team. You should know what is most important to that circle and how you are reaching them. You need to know how your circle receives information best, and how frequently you need to connect with them to keep them motivated.

To tap into your sphere of influence think about this:

  • Who is currently in your circle of influence? Who do you currently connect with consistently? Do you share the same values, career, problems? What attracts you to one another? Think about if this is the right group for you to sell your vision to. If not begin to think about who you need to add to your circle.
  • Who would I like to add into my circle of influence? Maybe there are a group of professionals who you’d like to market your vision to but currently aren’t. You have to study places they frequent and who they tend to gravitate to. You’ve got to do what you need to to grab their attention, and once you’ve got it give them all you’ve got. They need to leave understanding who you are, what you do, and why they should care. Think about this carefully before approaching new influences. Work on creating your 30 second elevator pitch. That’s about how long it takes to garner the attention of new peers.
  • What is most important to them? Know their values and principles. Know what problems they have, what makes them tick, and where they go to de-stress. You need this information to target and position yourself to be on their radar. Once you are speaking to them, you have a few speaking points of their interest  and you can now transition into telling them more about you and what you do.
  • How can I communicate what I know to that circle of influence? Once you initiate contact, how can you stay in contact with them?  When you exchange business cards you can ask if they’d like to know more about the topic you discussed and get permission to add their email to your list. Now you have targeted exactly who you need to have on your list and you can win them into your circle of influence!
  • Stay connected and add value. If you don’t have a list you need one. Let people know that you have something of value to add to their personal or professional lives.
Learn to serve your circle and meet their needs and they will learn to follow you!!

Your Pursuit is in Your Plan

Your Pursuit is in Your Plan

Write the vision and make it plain.

You show what you’re waiting on by showing what you’re working on. ~Bishop Dale C. Bronner~

I could come up with a thousand cliches like “the proof is in the pudding” but the fact of the matter is that your goals are reflected in the work that you’re doing. If you are pursuing entrepreneurship, you should have a plan and take action steps towards that plan. If you are writing a book, you should be writing pages daily until the task is complete. You show what you are pursuing by the plan you have created, and you pursue that plan by taking the necessary steps. I can’t say that I want to be a millionaire but I am not practicing good financial habits or working on creating wealth. It’s a contradiction.

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