September 13, 2016
“3 Ways to Share Your Influence and Impact”
by Regina E. Coley
September 13, 2016
“3 Ways to Share Your Influence and Impact”
by Regina E. Coley
If you knew better you’d do better, right? That’s what our young people deal with everyday. They make mistakes or carry regrets because they simply didn’t know better or they didn’t understand the consequences of their actions.
They didn’t have the luxury of having people share honest truths about their experiences. Sometimes people are ashamed of sharing their experiences for fear of being judged but it’s critical for our young people to know that there are situations they might find themselves in, that there are people who’ve been in them before, and there is another side!
They need to know that there are overcomers and that everyone’s story isn’t clean and perfect. They need genuine, authentic, transparent, honest individuals who are willing to help infiltrate their minds with stories of resilience and strength.
There are sometimes that we wish we could go back and tell our younger selves what we know now to save ourselves from making poor choices or to have made a better choice. I decided to create the “Letter to Your Younger Self Project” to collect letters from people who have sat down and been very intentional about giving quality advice to themselves and compiling them into a book. So here’s what I need for you to do.
Take about 5-10 minutes and go to a quiet place. Take out a blank sheet of paper or take out your tablet or laptop and write a letter to your younger self. Write to the “you” that was rebellious, invincible, stubborn, and independent. (You know the “you” I’m talking about). Think back to the most challenging times in your life and share what it was like in that moment for you. What were you thinking and feeling? How did you come to your final decision? What was it like when you overcame that challenge?
Our youth need to hear your story! Once you’ve completed your letter please email to email@example.com. If your letter is selected you will need to sign a release waiver to be included in the book.
I look forward to reading your letters and I thank you in advance for your commitment to empowering the lives of today’s youth.
How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Moving from high school into college or independence can be both an exciting and stressful time. Sure you can’t wait to finally be on your own but you may be trying to figure out how you’re going to do it all by yourself.
1. Decide on your career path. There are many adults who get to college and choose a major only to find out they have no interest in what they’ve been studying. Making such a critical choice at such a young age is difficult because what you like now will change over time. To assist you in making the right decision check out Career One Stop: Skills Profiler.
2. Choose a good college. College is the place where you’ll make lifelong friends, possibly find your spouse, begin your career, and learn more about yourself. With all that pressure wouldn’t you want to attend the best college possible that meets your needs? The number one thing you should look for is will Career Services help you find a job once you’re ready to graduate. I would hate for you to complete an educational program with the goal of securing employment only to receive not help in the end. When you visit your campus, make sure to visit their offices.
3. Find and keep a mentor. Transitions are moments of discovery and challenge. Having a mentor that can assist you through the process will help to keep you focused and on track so you won’t lose your way. I would recommend my Youth Mentoring Program
4. Brush up on your skills. The US Department of Labor created a very nice curriculum which includes videos and PDF downloads entitled Soft Skills to Pay the Bills-Mastering Soft Skills for Workplace Success. I would suggest visiting their site and working through the curriculum to ensure you’re in tip top shape!
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”
Managing finances is not a simple task. It requires building the right skills and learning and exercising the right principles. It’s important to learn these principles with your first job (which may not be paying all that much) so when you do receive an increase you’ll have the know how to manage it well.
1. Spend less than you earn. If you spend it all, you have nothing; plain and simple.
2. Open a savings account. It is important to have a savings account with money that you add to monthly in case of an emergency. They will happen to you and it’s best to prepare the funds now.
3. Cut expenses until you earn additional income. There is always something you can go without whether it’s reducing your cell phone, cable, or utility bill. Find out
4. Create Income. You are creative, talented, and smart and there is something you can share with others to create an additional stream of income. Can you do hair? Babysit? Make beats? Do it!
5. Invest in stocks. Let your money make you money. Read books, follow blogs, but learn everything you can about investing your money.
6. Create a spending plan. Don’t just be frivolous with your money. As soon as you find out how much you’re expecting, sit and plan out how it needs to be spent.
7. Handle those credit cards wisely. The best advice I received is don’t borrow from your future to pay for today. It’s good to develop credit if you can manage it but it’s not wise to max out your credit cards for clothes, fast food, and hanging out.
Let me know below…
You have to “be” before you can “do”, and you have to “do” before you can “have”. -Zig Ziglar
I was reviewing some notes from a conference I attended 4 years ago and I came across this quote from Zig Ziglar whom I had the pleasure of hearing speak before he passed away. There was something about it that resonates with me this week in the power of “being”.
He says that we must first “be”. What does that mean exactly? It means that we must first make a decision as to who it is that we are becoming. Who are we growing into? Who are we transforming or turning into? What are we made of? What has God designed us to be? It means that we must develop self-awareness. Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions.
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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 NIV
When I share my most challenging times in life, I realize that it was a result of losing my standards. I’ve always had a high regard for living ethically and doing what’s right, but there came a time when I no longer cared and I wanted to just live freely like everyone else.
What helped me most in “getting back on track” was remembering the high standards in my life and going back to them. I realized that my attitude towards myself and my life had to change for my life to change. I needed a renewing of my mind.
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Your palms are sweating. Your armpits feel like a faucet and you’re trying to remember if you brushed your teeth. You’re in a room full of new people and it feels like everyone in there knows each other. You’re wondering if people care that you’re there and you don’t know what you’re going to say should one of them walk up and actually talk to you! If only you could just calm your nerves, maybe…just maybe, you could let the real you shine through.
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So as most of you already know Zendaya was set to play Aaliyah in the upcoming Lifetime biopic movie: Aaliyah: One In A Million. However a few haters took to Twitter to rant about how the singer should not play Aaliyah because she looks Latina and Aaliyah was clearly African American. Zendaya who has an African American father and Caucasian mother is clearly not Latina. Now after backlash she is no longer affiliated with the project and for that I’m upset.
Zendaya posted on her Twitter account: “She’s (Aaliyah) has been an inspiration and influence in my whole career, her talent shines brighter than ever, all I wanna do is honor her…there will never be another Aaliyah, I just hope to share her beautiful story, and make her proud up in heaven.”
Now, someone who shares sentiments like that is a clear fan of Aaliyah and is looking to expand beyond her Disney repertoire and gain experience acting in various types of roles. She has ambitions of not just being another “kid” star but maturing into new more challenging roles. Her story taught me a lot about how to handle haters.
I’m upset because I feel like Zedaya allowed her haters to get the best of her (a no no in my book). She took to the BET Awards red carpet and said that she is no longer apart of the project because she felt like they were rushing the project and she wanted to do it right and not rush for someone she honors so much.
It could be that the family had some back lash about the project and for the Director and Producer did not consult them and maybe she didn’t want to be in the midst of that drama. But I’m willing to bet that it had something to do with the backlash from her haters (cough, cough) I mean “fans”.
When you have a dream and it’s something you feel passionately about don’t let NOBODY…excuse me….ANYBODY tear you away from it. When you know WHO you are, WHAT you’re doing it for, and WHY it’s important to you and your life, everything else can take a backseat. (Especially a hater!)
I think it’s borderline bullying when people feel “If enough of us gang up on her then we can change her mind”. How about you band together and use your words for good or to create positive change?
Haters will always have something to say, and 9 times out of 10 it’s incorrect. Zendaya is mixed but in an ignorant person’s eyes and mind she gets labeled “Latina”. (First of all learn your cultures…)
Haters aren’t pursuing their own dreams so they’d rather spend all their time tearing you away from yours. Get a hobby, connect with a higher power and find your purpose in life…as a matter of fact, sign up for my mentoring program and I’ll work with you ;-). I will always remind you that there is power in your tongue! Use your words to uplift and encourage others.
Haters won’t say half of what they want to say to you in person, so they’re just computer thuggin’. You heard me right! Just typing their little pointless lives away behind a screen because they are insecure with who they are and unsure what they have to offer the world. And this poor child is out here trying to be an example and positive role model…..
All in all I said all this to say:
Let your haters make you greater.
When you hear what haters say, laugh because you will prevail and stand proud, and all they can do is stand and look silly when you’ve accomplished what you set out to do.
Don’t change who you are because of what someone has to say about you. For every one person who hates you there’s a million more who will love you, and that’s the God honest truth!
Keep on pushing because your perseverance will cause you to be prosperous!
Everybody who is somebody had a “somebody” who was’t for them. Stand firm in YOU because at the end of the day, YOU are responsible for your own happiness.
Put this post on Replay..(A little Zendaya humor)
Question: How do you handle haters?
1. You have to go seek opportunities, they won’t come for you. College is the land of opportunity if you look at it that way. Never again will you have access to so many individuals from all over the world and with so many different backgrounds all living and gathering in the same place. College is intended to not only gain an education but to gain wisdom. This is why it’s important to go to college with a set of goals, things you want to accomplish in your life over the next 5 years. Once you have that in mind you can look at your experiences with opportunistic eyes. Are you looking to start a business? Where are your clients? In a certain department? In a certain dorm? Are you looking for a mentor? Whose on your campus that’s doing what you plan to do in the upcoming years? You have to reach out and get what you want and deserve for your life. Nobody is going to be knocking on your dorm door offering everything to you because you’re cute or smart. It’s the same later on in life, so get used to it!